Finished: Dorsey's 'Pineapple Grenade'

Reading a Tim Dorsey book is like watching Spongebob Squarepants. You kind of giggle along, laugh once in a while, then when it's over you think: Man, I just wasted thirty minutes of my life.

But then when the next book comes out or the next episode comes on you waste another thirty minutes.

And by "you," I mean me.

I just finished my 13th Dorsey, Pineapple Grenade, featuring crazy mass murderer Serge Storms and his druggy buddy Coleman. Each book is set in Florida and it alternately makes you want to visit the state and never step foot in it.

Goodreads gives the book a 3.91 out of 5. I gave it a 6 out of 10. It's disjointed, weird, funny at times, and really contributes nothing to society or the literary world, but I liked it anyway.

Miami has always set the weirdness bar, but Serge Storms is back in action and ready to pole vault over it. 

First, there’s the media frenzy over the “Hollow Man,” a gutless corpse found on the beach. And yet people think it’s perfectly normal to find dead sharks in the middle of downtown boulevards—or to spot black mushroom clouds behind the airport. Then there are the roving bands of carjackers who suddenly find themselves inconvenienced. Not to mention people lurking outside sex-addiction meetings.

He has a new book coming out Jan. 28, Tiger Shrimp Tango, and like a crack addict I'll be buying.

A couple quotes from the Grenade:

"I say the guy back in our room has it coming." 

Serge nodded. "And I respect your opinion because you smoke marijuana. You're chemically biased against violence and job applications."

And, under the influence of truth serum, Serge is questioned:

"Who do you work for?" 

"People in need, future generations, endangered species, lost tourists, the disenfranchised underclass, strippers with hearts of gold trying to support a child on a single income ..." 

"What is your mission?" 

"To save the republic, cheer on the home team, stay ahead of the curve, read the warning signs, respect my elders, support the troops, spend more time thinking about landfills, harness the untapped power of avoiding all your relatives, try not to fart around women ..." 

"Maybe I gave him too much."