Friday Link-oh-Liam-Rama

Watching "A Walk Among the Tombstones" while I do this so excuse me if there are random OMG!s throughout.

Not sure who I'd rather be when I grow up Liam Neeson or Lawrence Block. Maybe a cross.

 ***So you wondering what's in James Patterson's library?

Jack Reacher and I have a long history — I’ve read every book in this series. In this [installment], Reacher is forced out of retirement after an assassination attempt on the French president. Set throughout Paris and London, the story is explosive and thrilling. Child is still hitting it out of the park.

*** If it weren't baseball season, I'd consider this. Unique Opportunity: Summer Job as Viking Ship Captain.

*** Pigeon guy just jumped off the building. Wifey beat me to it: "Oh my gosh!"

*** Guessing one, or both, of these people is crazy: NASCAR driver accused of assault says ex is trained assassin

*** This is the best story I've read in months.

Atop a wooded hill here in the heart of America’s Dairyland, an industry legend was recently laid to rest. It wasn’t some milk magnate or a famed innovator, but an ornery, 2,700-pound bull named Toystory - a titan of artificial insemination who sired an estimated 500,000 offspring in more than 50 countries.

*** 30 shockingly amazing linkbait phrases Buzzfeed uses to get you to click on stuff.

*** Quote from psycho guy reading about Y2K in AWATT: "People are afraid of all the wrong things."  Yup.

Finished Robert B. Parker's 'Sea Change'

My RBP jones continues.

In Sea Change Jesse Stone investigates a body washed up in the ocean during Yacht Week. Along the way he runs across a lot of sex, drugs and rock n roll. Actually, no rock n roll, but extra sex and drugs.

This is book No. 5 in the series. By now, Jesse has been on the wagon for almost a year. It's a pretty interesting subplot as he visits his shrink and discovers how his not drinking is somewhat a metaphor for his rekindling relationship with his ex-wife. Not to ruin it for you, so I'll just say I didn't like the ending.

I'm starting to run out of gas on the Jesse Stone character, so, I'm giving it a 6-minus on the 1-10 Haugenometer. Amazon gives it a 4 of 5. Goodreads a 3.82 of 5.

P.J. O'Rourke QOTD

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."

Link Oh-rockin' Rama

So, sources say (albeit it a blonde one) that this band coming to the Black Hills Stock Show is supposed to be the hottest thing to come out of Texas since Sandra Bullock.

The Casey Donahew Band will be performing Feb. 6. Here's their song "White Trash Story." Be there, if for no other reason than lots of cowgirls will be.

Here's Double Wide Dream.

*** Speaking of good singers, I like Lucinda Williams. Here's a good story about the influence her poet-father had on her. He passed away Jan. 1.

Throughout her childhood, the elder Williams often hosted after-parties for writing workshops, prompting Lucinda to entertain the guests. 

“People say rock ‘n’ rollers are wild, but those poets could drink anyone under the table,” Lucinda says with a laugh. “Partway through most of those nights, Dad would say ‘Honey, why don’t you go get your guitar?’ I would start playing in the living room, and Dad’s friends would tell me I had soul and that I should hang in there. My writing wasn’t there, and my voice hadn’t developed yet. But I got encouragement from some pretty cool people.”

*** One of my favorite authors David Baldacci opines in the NY Times about conspiracy theories.

*** Escaping the Recession by Boat:

When the Great Recession hit, young people found a million different ways to cope with their battered job prospects. Alex and Nick Kleeman found the best way, scraping together enough cash to buy a 32-foot sailboat, then plunging into the Pacific for the adventure of their lives. So what if they didn’t know how to sail?

*** I guess if you have to be known for something it might as well be this: Meet Vinnie Myers, known as the “Michelangelo of Nipple Tattoos.” It's actually a serious, interesting story despite the portion I chose to highlight.

*** I've written about the Italian justice system before. Here's the murder case that country is currently obsessing over (never end a sentence with a preposition).

*** Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

*** Not all records are ones to be proud of (never end a sentence with a preposition).

*** Science says mom's right: Bundle up to avoid a cold.

*** Speaking of science, how about some climate change history.

Finished: Robert B. Parker's 'Stone Cold'

Robert B. Parker is best known for his Spenser novels, of which the television series Spenser For Hire was based. Stone Cold features his second-best known character, Jesse Stone, which spawned a made-for-tv movie series starring Tom Selleck.

So, yeah, the guy had some success.

I like that Parker really delves into his characters' personality flaws, gives them a lot of depth. Jesse Stone is one of those characters who battles alcoholism and an addictive personality that carries over into his relationships. And Stone, a small-town police chief, isn't afraid to punch a guy in the face on occasion.

I gave Stone Cold a 6-plus, as Jesse tracks down a yuppy couple on a thrill-kill spree. Amazon gives it a 4.1 of 5.

Highly recommend anything RBP writes.

Random thoughts ...

** There was a stretch in December where I spent parts of 12 of 16 days with my mother-in-law. Just sayin'.

** My mailbox was destroyed twice in one week by obnoxious drivers who didn't have the courtesy to stop and tell me that they couldn't drive on slippery roads. One was on Christmas Day. A neighbor saw them, knocked on my door and told me where the truck went. I didn't feel like calling the sheriff for such a minor deal, so I walked to that house and returned a piece of the bumper he left behind. "I was going to tell you, but needed to drop off some stuff first," he said, beer in hand, an hour after it happened. After meeting the doorknob, I regretted not reporting him. Rocket scientists nationwide need not worry about job competition from him.

** My son and youngest daughter are attending the Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS) national conference in Nashville with about 10,000 others from across the country (thus the word "national"). I attended FOCUS in Orlando two years ago and those college kids really give a guy hope for the future. Pretty sure those kids would let you know if they accidentally destroyed your property.

** I really get tired of hearing adults complain about "kids now-a-days."

** I know a couple of the students recently nominated by our congressional delegation to attend the Air Force Academy. And have known several more over the years. They, along with the appointees to the other academies, are the cream of the crop of this year's senior class. Amazingly smart, mature and motivated young men and women. Hope.

** Looking like a long, cold January, but remember: Every day is one day closer to baseball season.

** I'm going to write a post one of these days about some of the dumb, bigoted adults I've run across. About every couple months I encounter some moron, in most cases an anti-Catholic one, with stupid comments and actions toward kids. One of these days ...

** Speaking of writing, my latest novel is in the hands of my editing posse. Early reports are good. One particular edit was caught that had me laughing. I meant to have a cowboy rancher in a bar wearing a NFR belt buckle, but I typed it as an NPR buckle. I don't believe National Public Radio gives out belt buckles, and the proof-reader thought maybe I was trying to be funny but thought he'd point it out, just in case. I'll change it to NFR. Can't be disrespecting the bull-riders. I'm not that dumb.

** Remember the name Bobby Trane. Just sayin'.

** Three seed catalogs so far have me plotting out my garden on paper. Good times.

** "Catalog" is a word that always gives me difficulty spelling. So does "squeal."

** That stretch of days I mentioned earlier also included my oldest daughter graduating from Black Hills State University with degrees in political science and history, receiving a job offer from our newly elected U.S. Senator, and getting married to her high school sweetheart. That's a heckuva two weeks for a lovely, talented, smart kid of which my contribution was molding her into a great baseball fan.

Link-Oh-it's-been-awhile-Rama

If you read all these links you'll be the smartest person on your block, guaranteed.

*** Twitter has been a hummin' lately over the Rolling Stone article about a supposed gang rape at the University of Virginia. That blew up real fast, and in trying to get up to speed on it, I read this from Slate and found it very informative.

And you know that 1-in-4 college women raped statistic going around? The article shows how it came about and how whacked out it is.

*** Some people have some serious coin: Most expensive books of 2014.

*** Why raising beef can be good for the planet.

*** A bullet that has the ability to change directions. It may have once seemed like an idea out of a sci-fi movie, but it has now become a reality – thanks to the U.S military.

As they say, you can run, but you'll just die tired.

*** And if you’re into politics, a couple friends of mine have essays in this: The Plains Political Tradition.

From the RCJ: Nathan Sanderson, a historian and member of Republican Gov. Dennis Daugaard’s cabinet, wrote an essay titled “The Roots of West River Republicanism” for the recently released second volume of “The Plains Political Tradition,” a book published by the South Dakota Historical Society Press. Sanderson, who serves as Daugaard’s director of policy and operations, has a doctorate in history from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

*** Love him or hate him, Tom Coburn made his mark in the U.S. Senate. And didn't stop until the last gavel pounded.

*** I've followed Michelle Bachmann's congressional career only nominally and don't consider myself a fan or a critic, mostly just an interested bystander. Regardless of your feelings about her, if you have any, Roll Call has a pretty fair and interesting take on her retirement.

*** If you feeling like creeping through Albert Einstein’s love letters to his sweetie, check this out.

*** Baseball's popularity waning? I think not and neither does Forbes.

*** Baseball also has the biggest media company you never heard of.

*** Retiring Washington Post book critic Jonathan Yardley shares his favorite books after 33 years of reviews.

*** I’ve been hearing get things about The Book of Strange New Things.

*** In case you were looking for a new book to read, the best of Penguin Random House.

*** Heard this Junior Brown song the other day and got a kick out of it: I gotta get up early just to say goodnight to you.

Hot Springs writer sees angels

Joseph Bottum, a much more famous writer just down the road from me, emailed on Christmas Eve with the following:

Among my usual flood of Christmas writing, I thought you might be interested in this particular one, just out this morning. It is, I think, the most mystical thing I’ve ever written—a description of angel voices singing “high in the wind, across a western meadow frozen stiff and covered with the fallen snow.”

All blessings in this blessed season.

Finished: 'The Secret Servant' & 'Storm Front'

I'm either a fast reader or a slow blog poster, or a little of both, but I had two recently-finished books to post about (don't finish a sentence with a preposition).

Continuing to knock off Daniel Silva's books, the latest being The Secret Servant. I like Silva because he brings personal knowledge and good connections to make his international espionage thrillers very realistic. He was a Middle East correspondent for UPI and also worked for CNN. He's married to NBC reporter Jamie Gangel (pictured).

TSS is the seventh in the Gabriel Allon series, in Wiki's words:

In this entry in the series, Gabriel Allon, the master art restorer and sometime officer of Israeli intelligence, had just prevailed in his blood-soaked duel with Saudi terrorist financier Zizi al-Bakari. Now Gabriel is summoned once more by his masters to undertake what appears to be a routine assignment: travel to Amsterdam to purge the archives of a murdered Dutch terrorism analyst who also happened to be an asset of Israeli intelligence. But once in Amsterdam, Gabriel soon discovers a terrorist conspiracy festering in the city’s Islamic underground: a plot that is about to explode on the other side of the English Channel, in the middle of London.

I gave it a 7-minus on the Haugenometer. Goodreads scored it 4.21 out of 5; and Amazon 4.5 of 5.

If you like CIA/Mossad/terrorist action with interesting characters and settings, you'll like.

If you like Minnesota cops/Mossad/blondes skinny dipping, you'll like John Sandford's Storm Front, the seventh novel in the Virgil Flowers series.

While I'm a big fan of Virgil's boss, Lucas Davenport, who plays bit parts in these novels, I really enjoy Flowers: soft-hearted, walleye-catching, skirt-chaser. The setting is Mankato, MN, and the plot, while sometimes confusing me with all its characters, kept me guessing until the end.

Amazon recaps:

An ancient relic is unearthed during an archaeological dig. A Minnesota college professor is keeping a secret that could change the world’s history as we know it. For Virgil Flowers, the link between the two is inescapable—and his investigation, more dangerous and far-reaching than he can possibly imagine.

I gave it a 7, Goodreads a 3.83, and Amazon a 4.

Machine Gun Preacher is a leather-clad enigma

Sam Childers is a tough guy for me to figure out. It doesn't seem like I'm alone in that assessment.

He is the author of a couple books, subject of an award-winning biopic in which Gerard Butler played him, is a missionary to children in Africa and is known as the Machine Gun Preacher.

I went to a book-signing of his last week in Rapid City. Frankly, I'd never heard of the guy, but in reading the "tonight's happenings" in the paper I decided to Google his name and he looked like an interesting man I'd like to meet. I didn't know it until I arrived, but the event was hosted by a local Baptist church, and I think they were expecting a lot more people, since it was held at the Ramkota, but only about 30-35 people showed up. They were set up for a couple hundred.

He's an interesting fella, to say the least. A former druggie, dealer, alcoholic and motorcycle gang member, he found Christ and is doing Christ's work as he sees fit, and probably not as more conventional Christians might be comfortable with. Childers admits as much in his second book Living on the Edge, saying he carries the Bible in one hand and an AK47 in the other.

Oddly enough, there are similarities between Childers and Bobby Trane, the main character in my most recent novel which is in its editing stage at the moment. Though in Bobby Trane's case, it's more that he's just an unconventional man of the cloth, without most of the foibles Childers has overcome.

I just finished reading Childers' second book (which he signed for me). I found myself alternately thinking "this guy is a head case" and then "but he's doing some really good things." Even listening to his presentation the other night I felt like the guy was really full of himself. At times I thought he was just using this missionary thing to pad his own wallet. He's still rough around the edges, as one would imagine a person needs to be when operating in the Ugandan and Sudanese areas he does.

But as I've taken some time to digest his book and the presentation, I've concluded that he needs to be the way he is in order to do the things he does. I don't think you could take a seminary-educated, middle-class raised, polite, soft-spoken minister and plop him into the middle of Africa and expect him to survive two weeks much less go on to open six children's villages and provide safe refuge and education for older teens like Childers has. He seems to be a man who has gone through the things he's gone through for a reason, and he's making the most of it. He's helping people, and doesn't seem to really care what others think of his methods, though he spends a lot of time talking and writing about what they say.

He acknowledges his faults, seems to recognize that many don't agree with his methods. But, all in all, he's doing more good in this world than most of the people I'll see in church tomorrow, me included. God's speed, Mr. Childers.

Friday link-ohh-batty-rama

Jonah Goldberg began his weekly email newsletter this morning with: "Like a cannibal in a coma ward, I have no idea where to begin."

Wish I'd thought of that. It sure beats the following ...

In my neck of the woods, one of the hot topics is the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service considering listing the Northern Long-Eared Bat as an endangered species. It's not as hot as the local debate over whether to allow the city folk to raise chickens in their backyard or as sizzling with controversy as the new Starbucks sign on the historic Alex Johnson Hotel. But it's hot, and frankly, a lot more meaningful. If the bat is listed as endangered it could mean some pretty significant changes in the Black Hills.

As such, I've attended a lot of meetings on the subject and thought I knew more about the NLEB than I would ever want to, when lo and behold, another nugget of knowledge was dropped on me today.

Apparently these little buggers (whose babies are known as pups) are one of the few creatures to experience delayed fertilization.

Breeding begins in late summer or early fall when males begin swarming near hibernacula. After copulation, females store sperm during hibernation until spring, when they emerge from their hibernacula, ovulate, and the stored sperm fertilizes an egg. This strategy is called delayed fertilization.

After fertilization, pregnant females migrate to summer areas where they roost in small colonies and give birth to a single pup. Maternity colonies, with young, generally have 30 to 60 bats, although larger maternity colonies have been observed. Most females within a maternity colony give birth around the same time, which may occur from late May or early June to late July, depending where the colony is located within the species’ range. Young bats start flying by 18 to 21 days after birth. Adult northern long-eared bats can live up to 19 years.

Think of the implications if humans were capable of this. On second thought, don't. We have enough problems.

** Speaking of batty ... how about the woman marrying the nutburger Charles Manson. According to this, mass murderer's wedding plans not that unusual. I guess they have groupies with daddy issues.

Still other devotees might simply be content in always knowing where their man is at 2 o'clock in the morning, that he may be behind bars, but at least he's not out in the bars with some other woman.

** This guy has some pretty cool photos of my backyard:

Between 1887 and 1892, John C.H. Grabill sent 188 photographs to the Library of Congress for copyright protection. Grabill is known as a western photographer, documenting many aspects of frontier life & hunting, mining, western town landscapes and white settlers’ relationships with Native Americans. Most of his work is centered on Deadwood in the late 1880s and 1890s. He is most often cited for his photographs in the aftermath of the Wounded Knee Massacre on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

And here's a link to his pretty crazy homepage.

** Big fight this weekend: Everybody knows Manny Pacquiao, but this Chinese boxer is the next one to watch.

** Goodreads asks: What do men and women want when it comes to books? Are they reading their own gender? And what do they think of books written by the opposite sex?

** And from Mother Jones, of all places: Why the white working class hates Democrats.

** I'm a Dukie and like Christian Laettner but I'll be checking this out anyway. 'I Hate Christian Laettner' film coming to '30 for 30'.

 To be followed by a special investigative report where they apparently found a U. of North Carolina athlete who actually attended a class. Shocking!

A look back at 9-11 ...

... because anybody can do a 9-11 retrospective on 9-11. It takes talent to do it on 11-7.

The tallest building in the Western Hemisphere opened this week in New York – 1World Trade Center. As promised, since I have some old papers, I thought this might be a good chance to post them rather than waiting until next September.

 Here is the 9-11 Extra edition of the Argus Leader:

And the 9-12:

The 9-13:

9-14:

Sunday Standard Time Link-Ohhhh

Apparently there's some argument going on in a world outside of mine, where a professor is claiming that Mrs. Bach actually composed some of Mr. Bach's most famous works.

And then I was most shocked to learn: What? Anne Hathaway didn't write Shakespeare's plays?

Professor Jarvis is a charming and sincere man – I met him then to talk it over. But I’m afraid that his theory is pure rubbish. Anna Magdalena Bach did not write the Bach suites, any more than Anne Hathaway wrote Shakespeare’s plays, George Henry Lewes wrote George Eliot’s novels, or Freddie Starr ate his friend’s hamster.

 ** So I was reading a post at thechive.com about scary movies based on true events and ran across a shocker I'd never heard before.

There's a movie called Heavenly Creatures, based on a murder involving Anne Perry.

On 22 June 1954, the girls and Honora Rieper went for a walk in Victoria Park in their hometown of Christchurch. On an isolated path Hulme dropped an ornamental stone so that Ms. Rieper would lean over to retrieve it. Parker had planned to hit her mother with half a brick wrapped in a stocking. The girls presumed that one blow would kill her but it took more than 20.[3] 

Parker and Hulme stood trial in Christchurch in 1954 and were found guilty on August 29 of that year. As they were too young to be considered for the death penalty under New Zealand law at the time, they were convicted and sentenced to be "detained at Her Majesty's pleasure". In practice, this sentence meant they were to be detained at the discretion of the Minister of Justice. They were released separately five years later.

In case Anne Perry doesn't ring a bell, she should. As in international, best-selling, historical author Anne Perry!

Now it's all coming together for me. So she did five years in the clink and gets out and becomes rich and famous. Some people have all the luck.

14 years ago - the hanging chads

Among the list of nerd things I do is collect front pages of various newspapers. I'm going to try to post more in the near future, and I really dropped the ball by not sharing last week some of the World Series ones I have (think Twins). Live and learn.

Here are three covers to remind you of why your vote matters, even when you think it might not.

The first two are from the same date: Nov. 8, 2000, Sioux Falls Argus Leader.

Here's the first run off the press:

Then, here's the second run, same day:

And, finally, the Dec. 14 edition:

Finished: Westlake's "Trust Me On This"

Still on my Westlake-Block obsession, bouncing back and forth between the two, and just finished Donald Westlake's Trust Me On This. It wasn't as great as most Westlake novels, but even a lesser Westlake is better than most of his contemporaries.

Goodreads gave it a surprisingly high 3.84 out of 5:

When a serious young journalist discovers a bloody corpse on the way to her new job at a sleazy tabloid paper, she is soon dodging bullets and matching wits with her enigmatic publisher.

It's a 4 out of 5 at Amazon. I scored it a 6- on the 10-point Haugometer.

Westlake is just one of the best. I'd have given anything to have enjoyed a cup of coffee with this guy. His ability to weave a tale, combined with his sense of humor, always leave me in awe. Simply a great author, RIP. Fortunately, he was such a prolific writer, I still have several dozen of his works to enjoy down the road.

A letter from Ole, seriously

So my mom's cousin David Renli is one of those gynecology guys who's always poking around trying to learn the most personal details of people's lives and then when he runs across something new he posts it on Facebook for everybody in the family to see. Wait, did I say gynecology? I meant genealogy. Silly me.

In his recent research he ran across an old dude from Canton who gave him a letter, which was written by my great-great-grandfather Ole O. Renli. It was translated from Norsk so some of the words are probably over the head of you NNs (Non-Norwegians). But it's pretty interesting. Thought I'd pilfer it from our cloistered group so some of you might enjoy. FYI, my mother's maiden name is Renli.

The funny thing is when I first started reading it, I thought it was going to be one of those Ole joke letter things. You know, the ones that start: "Lena, I'm writing this slowly cuz I know you don't read very fast." This isn't one of those, but I was more than suspicious for at least a few sentences.

Here's the legit letter:

To: Knudt O. Folkedahl, Western Done Co. Wisc. 

From: Ole O. Renli, Canton P.O. Lincoln Co. SD. 

Written 26th of Jan, 1879 

Good Friend. Your letter has been received and read with pleasure. And it is good to see your health is pretty good., and I can say the same with God’s help. My family has increased since I came to Dakota. We have three boys so now we have 4 boys and 2 girls and all are well shaped and has done well to date. I have a quarter of land that I have deed to, and I have 60 acres too.  I have built myself a Fremhus 24 foot long by 14 foot wide and 12 feet high and painted it white on the outside. Bought farm tools and everything is paid for. When I came here I had ‘(mit Oxetox and one Kovogna)’ and 20 dollars. That was all. Now I have four horses, 2 black ‘(hoppers)’, one 8 and one nine years old which I have had for four years. And 2 kolter three years old this spring. (some unreadable text) Also have 5 cows, 4 calfs, 4 pigs, 10 sheep and some chickens. I got 500 bushels of wheat – 600 bushels Havre oats and almost 200 bushels of corn and some potatoes.

Most of the people around here are well off. Big Knudt has 2 quarters of land and is well off. Now he is getting married to his brother’s widow. She has 2 quarters so they will now have 4 quarters together. And they have one Drenge Barn together and she has 2 boys from before. So now they have 3 boys and not married yet.  They are getting married in 3 weeks.

Ole Ulderikson is here with family. Engenret Hofoflon is here with his family and later others. I don’t have room for.  Old Tolef is well and active. Little Knud was sick almost a year and was breast fed most of the time and Astri 14 days and was buried after Knud. 

We now have 7 miles to train station. We have not had much snow. No snow now.

You are all greeted so much from us and also most of all you Knuds with family from our family.

Ole O. Renli

Weekend Link-Ohhhh-Rama

Here are some stories worth reading after you get bored reading about Ebola. It's a high bar we set here:

** I am blessed with a circle of friends who likes to send me sheep articles. As much as I should explain why, if for no other reason than to keep sordid rumors from beginning, I won't; because sordid rumors about me are kind of fun. The Lindsay Lohan one has dogged me for years.

And this story is actually very interesting: White House Sheep, a History. In 1918, President Wilson wanted sheep. But trouble lurked.

** This woman, unlike her similarly named American counterpart, became famous for actually doing something besides taking naked selfies: A woman known as "Rehana" has become a hero across the internet as news spread that the Kobani soldier has reportedly killed more than 100 Islamic State terrorists single-handedly.

And if you were the kind of cad to notice such things, she's kind of a hottie too.

** In my defense, I didn't publish a book in 2014. National Book Award finalists named.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
An Unnecessary Woman by Rabih Alameddine
Lila by Marilynne Robinson
Redeployment by Phil Klay
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

In reading the summaries of all five books in the fiction category, four of them will be added to my wish list for Christmas, with "All the Light We Cannot See" piquing my interest the most. "Lila" looks like the only clunker among the group, so I'm guessing it will win.

** Harry L. Katz, co-author of "Mark Twain's America", weighs in on the best Twain books.

** Seems like Brazil has its share of ungodly prolific writers, including this crazy old coot.

Settle down, boys and girls

When Minnesota gets weird I don't worry too much because, well, it's Minnesota. Can you say Ventura, Dayton, Franken?

But when Nebraska starts going goofy I start to worry that it could spread north. Case in point, Lincoln, and I'm not even talking Bo Pelini.

In a new initiative orchestrated by Gender Spectrum and the Center for Gender Sanity, public school teachers have been urged to stop calling students “boys and girls” and instead refer to them as “purple penguins,” or some other suitably bestial name. 

Fortunately, The Federalist delivers some sarcasm smack and targets Nebraska numbskulls: We Must Revise Classic Literature To Promote Gender Inclusivity

Finished: Lawrence Block's "Tanner's Tiger"

I scored a signed, limited-edition reprint of the master Lawrence Block's book Tanner's Tiger which was originally written in 1968.

Block is best known for his two series that feature Matthew Scudder and Bernie Rhodenbarr, but this is one of his shorter and earlier series, I think eight books that feature Evan Tanner, a guy who never sleeps, speaks five languages and works for some shadowy, unnamed CIA-kind of outfit. It's relatively short, 220 pages of big typeface for 50-over readers, was clever, witty and imaginative. Oh, and silly. So I liked it. I'd give it a 6- on my 10-point scale. It's a 3.57 of 5 on Goodreads' scale.

Block wrote an afterward to the book over 30 years later which is one of the funnier things I've read in a long time. The man has written a plethora of novels. He's a character himself. I follow him on Twitter and enjoy him immensely.

The best line of the book was about a drunk pilot saving the day in bad weather conditions: "Never in the course of human events has any man earned so much acclaim for making so many people vomit."

By the way, fictiondb.com is a pretty cool website if you are looking for book lists by authors and other nerdy stuff. Their taken on Tanner's Tiger pretty much nails it:

Tanner is well-traveled, a master of disguise and subterfuge, accustomed to navigating the hidden geography of the world's most dangerous countries and territories. Borders and bureaucracies mean nothing to him. Passports and visas are but a trifle to a man who speaks countless languages, with contacts in subversive organizations that span the globe. Tanner's been smuggled out of Turkey, fled the Soviet Union in an experimental aircraft, and escaped from a bamboo prison in Thailand.  

Now, he's been given his most difficult assignment, to infiltrate a country motivated to repel his every attempt to enter, a country which will imprison him, drive him underground, and cause Tanner to call upon his wits and contacts as never before.  

That country is Canada.

Happy anniversary, baby

Today my wife celebrates her 26th year of marriage to me, which explains why she's stumbling around the house at 7 a.m. with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, her left eye twitching uncontrollably, and mumbling: "God grant me the serenity ..."

But as with most things, my mantra is: "She'll get it over it."

Unlike the "silver" anniversary last year, Yahoo (not my wife's name) tells me: The 26th Wedding Anniversary does not have any traditional materials or symbols associated with it. So I didn't have any guidance on what gifts to buy this year. Besides how do you top last year's silver toaster? I'll tell you how, by making one up. Seems I read somewhere that the 26th anniversary is the "soy" anniversary; so a bottle of Kikkoman it is!

And a dozen roses never hurt. If I learned one thing in marriage, it's that flowers cure a lot of ills. I have noticed that the suitors of my daughters seem to have figured that out too, so chivalry is not dead, it's just wilting; mostly because it's awfully tricky to find that sleeping patient in the hospital with a door open so you can quick run in and grab the flowers without them noticing. Takes practice, especially since they've beefed up security so much in the maternity wards. But after 26 years, I got it down.

So when people ask what the secret to a relatively long marriage is, and I think 26 years qualifies, I tell them:

1 - Flowers.

2 - Time away from each other. Hey, I'm not stupid, I know it's possible, though unlikely, that I can get on a person's nerves once in a while. So when she wants a "Girls Weekend Away" with her sisters, I frown and say: "Okay, I suppose." Then when the door closes, I high-five the dog, break out the fireworks and turn on the Cinemax.

As I'm not a particularly social person outside of work, where I have to be social, I'm not big on hanging out with her co-workers and family; not because I don't like them, but because they are people, and sometimes, a lot of times, I just don't want to be around people. So we agreed early on that there would be "got to"s. Those would be gatherings I "got to" go to. Otherwise, I'm invited to come with, but don't "got to." That works out well, because almost all of those "got to"s are ones I would go to anyway: Christmas, birthdays, weddings and a family reunion every five years. It saves on guilt, hurt feelings and pressure.

3 - You have to be a team, and while there's no "I" in team there is a "me." Don't let them tell you otherwise. But as a team, we divide up the duties, she pays the bills (don't even ask me how much we pay for cable or cell phones; heck I don't even know how much I get paid, I haven't seen a paycheck in 10 years, it just goes in the bank, I assume I get paid) and she does the laundry (though I contribute on those occasions when the stinking pile of sweaty running clothes on the floor next to my side of the bed gets too rank for even me to handle) and I do the outside stuff, like mowing and shoveling and gardening and walking the dogs and, umm, other really hard stuff.

But mostly the team part comes in on those rare occasions when it seems like the world around you has lost its mind and you two are the only ones who are sane. There have only been a handful of times when it's come to that, but there's something special about having one other person in the world who gets it. So when the day is crashing in around you, you can hug them with the knowledge that you can pull up roots at any second and go land on a houseboat in Florida or in a remote cabin in Montana and you'd both be perfectly happy.

That's when you know you made the right choice 26 years ago. And I did.

Pass the soy.