Friday, April 19, 2013

Bombers could learn from boxers

One of the troubles with being a terrorist bomber is you don't get to choose your own nickname. The media or law enforcement do it for you.

In past years we've had the Shoe Bomber and the Underwear Bomber. This past few hours it's been the "Number 2 Bomber" we've been hearing about. I've also heard him called the "BM Bomber." Both sound like he did something in the bathroom.

That had to bug ol' No. 2 a little, while he was cowering in the boat, bleeding, waiting for a Boston cop to pop a 9 mil in his forehead. He'll go down in history as the weasely punk loser who killed an 8-year-old child and two young women and, to top it all off, now has the nickname of a bowel movement.

Seems if you're going to be a bomber, you should leave a note or a manifesto, and give yourself a nickname like boxers do to avoid just that kind of embarrassing situation.

So these idiots could have been Tamerlan "Sweet Pea" Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar "Money" Tsarnaev. But I guess they were too busy building bombs, reading Jihadi websites and hating people to worry about marketing. Besides, I'm thinking "BM Bomber" is very appropriate. In fact, it's way too nice.

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